Something Fishy

I am no fish expert, but when the aquarium guy told me what I was buying was a “Black Gold-Fish”, I was thinking, “Oh yeah, what rotten luck! The one time I buy a gold-fish, it’s the one from Africa who donated its gold to tribal women; to make exotic nipple rings.”

Fishy came home with me; oh yeah, that’s what I decided to call him. Howard was too “Saint Bernardy”, Prince Philip too old and Gonnaswimaroundincirclesallday he just wouldn’t understand. “Fishy”, was the best for him. Oh, and I don’t know whether he is male or female; but as long as I get to choose the sex of the one creature living with me, I’d rather it be a “him”.

The whole day Fishy would just swim around in circles, his abode an uninteresting fish bowl, void of any colour. The other activities that keep him busy are eating and then disposing whatever he has eaten. I suppose I am ready to write a thesis on fishy doo-doo designs; at times he has just enough to decorate a small fishy Christmas tree if he didn’t break the chain. I’ll just change the topic now without further a doo-doo.

Sometimes Fishy makes curious noises, I assume they are not mating calls; mostly noises when he opens and closes his mouth, do fish breathe like that? I am not sure, maybe the aquarium guy would know or a fisherman, but by the time that guy sees a fish, it has already got a halo, almost sprouting wings and playing the harp with mermaids.

In an unusual surge of generosity I bought some water plants to put in Fishy’s bowl, so that he’d not miss his natural habitat. I also bought little disco lights, fluorescent coloured pebbles which reflect in the dark, some red crystallised aquarium-sand and some device which I will call the Merboy oxy-generator; no no, I don’t have horned animals bellowing in my bowl, the device is supposed to maintain the oxygen balance so that Fishy can breathe. It’s very amusing to look at especially because, when the thing is switched on, there are bubbles coming out of the Merboy’s backside; you’d wonder what he had for lunch that day.

I wonder if I should get Fishy a mate. Then, there will be junior Fishys, then they will have junior Fishys and then they might just come out white with black spots, all cute, swimming around in a Shoe ornament like in 10001 Dalmatians. Only this will be one hell of a lousy story to sell to Disney. So no, Fishy does not get a mate nor does he get to.

I think Fishy is content in his bowl. He’s got a lovely home, a naked friend, free food and disco lights!

- Kavisha Pinto © 22nd March 2006